Are you a Chooser or a Chaser?

I’m going to reveal a simple concept that determines whether you get the love you want… or end up settling for something you don’t want. A lot of people like to throw around terms like “be the prize” and “neediness” and a bunch of other stuff…

Honestly, I don’t like most of the terms out there … but I use them and talk about them because those are the terms being used in general in the “relationship advice” sphere… and I’d rather enter the discussion and then give people helpful ways to untangle the mess…

The reason I say this… Is because, I’ve been there and done that! In regard to “being the prize,” here’s what you need to know…

A lot of women fixate on what a guy isn’t doing, isn’t saying, etc. Then they try to figure out a way to force the situation that they want to happen… they read articles, try different schemes to make him do whatever they want him to do, probe him, analyze him, etc.

This is trying to shove a square peg through a round hole … this is chasing him… this is the opposite of being the prize. Being the prize simply means that instead of chasing him and trying to get him to do something or be a certain way, you focus on your own mood and self-improvement…

Your mood is incredibly important to protect… women who are in a great mood and feel good internally will naturally appear very attractive to the outside world. Look around and you’ll observe this to be true. Your mood is what will invoke your inner beauty… your vibe… and it will also determine how easily you’ll form strong, lasting connections with others. Then of course there’s your self-improvement. Learning to be the best “you” that you can be is great… it gives you a feeling that life is getting better and better every day. It gives you inspiration and hope.

Part of being the best you that you can be is doing what you can to improve your looks and body as much as is possible for you. I’m not talking about hitting some crazy Hollywood beauty standard. I’m talking about making your physical appearance something that you value and enhance as much as you can. Those are the major things to focus on… if you’re someone people want to be around, your level of desirability is going to be high… you’ll be in demand… and when you’re in demand, you have choice… when you have choice, naturally you’ll choose to spend time with the people you enjoy being with the most. You simply won’t have time for everyone who wants your attention… you are in demand, so you are the chooser.

More importantly, when you’re in demand, you won’t choose to spend your time on someone who isn’t willing to put in the effort or treat you the way you want to be treated.
All in all, being the prize isn’t so much about asserting how great you are as it is about simply not chasing after people who don’t want to put in the effort.

Being the prize simply means that you are actively in the role of being the “chooser,” not the “chaser.” This doesn’t mean the guy can’t also be a “chooser.” In fact, in a best-case scenario, you are both choosing each other.

As I was saying earlier, many people make the mistake of desperately clinging to and fixating upon a person who isn’t giving them the responses they want… so they try to force things to work. That’s being a “chaser.”

Being a “chooser” means that you don’t stop dating until you actually find the guy who treats you the way you want to be treated and with whom you have the relationship that you actually want. I can’t stress that enough: You don’t stop dating until you actually have what you want.

Hope that helps, 🙂


“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.”

-Diana, Princess of Wales

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