“What if’s” VS. “What is”?

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Our mind is like an ocean deep. Sometimes when you think it’s like a flood that overflowing. Sometimes when we worry too much or think too much… our thoughts become like a tsunami. It can be too deep, too silent, too loud and it scattered everywhere. When this situation happen, we started over thinking about “What ifs and What is”?

A lot of us, can be vulnerable. We think ahead instead of taking it little step-at-a–time.

Worry is like blood pressure: you need a certain level to live, but too much can kill you. At its worst, worry is insidious, invisible, a relentless scavenger, roaming the corners of your mind, feeding on anything it finds. It sets upon you unwanted and unbidden, feasting on the infinite array of negative possibilities in life, diminishing your enjoyment of friends, family, achievements, and physical being—all because you live in fear of what might go wrong. People who worry too much suffer. For all their hard work, for all their humor and willingness to laugh at themselves, for all their self-awareness, worriers just cannot achieve peace of mind.

“What ifs” meaning….

“What ifs” means an inaction, predicting the future. The what if’s are all about utilizing your energy on things that haven’t happened, they are about trying to pretend you are psychic thus having the ability to predict what will happen in the future. Logically, this seems silly, but in the mists of an anxiety episode this is exactly how our mind works.

Anxiety grabs hold of your mind, and focuses in on worry. Your mind begins to ruminate about “what if” this happens. Sometimes begins with a negative possibility.

“What If’s” are great when you need the motivation to continue. Sometimes the day-to-day is so boring or disheartening that the fantasy of how things will (or could) be. Obviously, a major space for What Ifs in life is reserved for visualizing yourself in a role. What Ifs often give you the “as if” you need to do your best.

“What If’s” are a bad idea when you find yourself playing around with so much that you drive yourself (and your friends) nuts.

“What is” meaning…

The “what is” are taking an action. You’re taking a risk and you are willing to try. You only worry what could have happen and what you should do next. Knowing where you are and really understanding your current situation is most valuable when you need to get focused on what’s working and what isn’t, so you can take steps toward improvement. Many people avoid looking at What Is because it’s sometimes uncomfortable to take note of areas that need fixing.

The “what is” is taking over that is already happening, like facing the problem. Easy to ignore, blissfully, what career barriers you’re putting up — and keeping up — for yourself.

“What Is” is also a great place to force yourself to go if you’re the kind of person who has a tendency to spend too much time in the land of What If. But if you use What Is as an excuse to stagnate and live in habits, refusing to stretch and grow and improve yourself, you’re only hurting your chances at ever being given the opportunity to play. Or grow. Or share your gifts.

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The balance between “what if” and “what is”….

Probably much more difficult to achieve. But for sure, every person struggle with reconciling these two states of mind about many things. Learning how to strike the balance is a key to enjoying the time spent — intentionally — in each world.

That’s the healthiest place in both the What If and What Is parts of your life, and the ever-important balance between both worlds. Knowing the negative to positive way of life.

The best gift you can give yourself involves two elements:

  1. Know yourself. Know your tendencies.
  2. Find balance.

Once you are able to rationalize the irrational thoughts running through your head, the “what if’s” have lost their power. This rationalization can be used at anytime, anywhere, and any way that works best for you. It’s effective and a healthy way to deal with anxiety. Remember, you are not psychic and cannot control the future. You can control your behavior today, and how you act may influence the outcomes of tomorrow.

Whatever your self-schema might be, you can change consciously. Over time, self-questioning begins to replace reflexive self-flagellation. Become creative in finding ways of quenching worry.

You have ultimate control over your actions, thoughts and emotions unless you give that control over to the “what if’s”. Take back control of your life.

Till then, continue “Discovering Your Own Way”. Always look for the positive way. Always ask yourself, what is going to benefits you? You can learn to face your fear and take chances.

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“Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.”

-Yehuda Berg

As for me, I’m still learning and figuring out. I’m not perfect but still finding my way to balance my life, school, family and friends. Every single day is a new day. And each day is a new chance to make things right. Every single day has a time and a solution to face our difficulties. Just take a deep breathe, take time and you will get there 😉

Hope this help.

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